Why I don’t care about looking good

There is the pressure that comes from being a woman that we are supposed to doll ourselves up and look “presentable”.

I hear the terms “looking presentable” and “dressing for the part” but what does that entail when you’re a woman?

Being a man, throwing on a pair of jeans and a wool sweater makes you look like you’re actually dressing up, but in reality you only spend a few mins grabbing whatever and throwing it on. I know this because I watch my husband do it and look stunning and I loath him for this. 

As a woman if I wore similar attire I get comments like “oh, you look comfortable today” and “how do you leave the house like that?” Some part of me gets a little offended and defensive. But the way I look at is simple…

If you think that my self worth is based on my appearance than why would I want to talk to you? Yeah, I’m a journalist and yeah, I have to meet and talk to a wide variety of people daily, but most of my day is in a booth or researching and making phone calls. 

I may be a professional, but I am also still a breastfeeding mother and a mother of two very young kids. My clothes need to be functional. I can’t be wearing hundred dollar shit then get it stained with greasy fingers and yogurt. I can barely make it past lunch without accumulating some type of smear on my shoulder or becoming a personal napkin. 

More importantly I don’t believe that I should have to succum to the pressures of what society thinks I should look like. I have a daughter and what kind of message would I be sending if I forgot about what I like to wear and what makes me feel comfortable to be just another sheep in the flock buying up all the name brand and over priced crap that is regularly mass consumed.

I want her to know that who you are is not based on what you wear or what people think. It is my job to push her to be herself and to be comfortable in her own skin, not feel the pressure to live up to other people’s standards or expectations. It is my priority to be a positive and supportive influence in her life, which I take very seriously.

As long as someone doesn’t smell absolutely foul, I see no harm in wearing whatever you want and whatever makes you comfortable, even if you slept in it. Be who you are, and for me that person is someone who is reliable, funny, intelligent and well-informed. None of those qualities has anything to do with appearance.

I have never met anyone who didn’t want to talk to me based on my appearance. If anything, my toned down appearance relieves people’s pressure to preform and makes them feel more comfortable. If I am laid back and just having a conversation, interviewees feel like they’re not obligated to live up to some perceive perception that accompanies having prominent titles. 

I make sure to focus my energies on who I am and not what I look like. That’s not saying that I am some frumpy bum who doesn’t enjoy getting dolled up occasionally, but if I am not going anywhere and I am just calling people or staring at a computer screen all day what difference does it make if I’m wearing track pants or not wearing mascara. 

Women are the victims of these pressures to conform or look a certain way. Actually let me retract that. EVERYONE is the victim of these pressures. My message is to be who you want to be, not who people think you should be. Your worth is not based on what you look like, unless you let it be. 

Although if you want to be a power figure and you want that lifestyle, shout out to you and I support you in who you want to be. That is just not me and I don’t think that type of lifestyle should be forced. If one day I decide that that is what I want to do then I will do that but it will be on my own accord and not because of what you think or how you feel I should be.

It all boils down to being comfortable with who you are. Everyone has that right. You have that right. Don’t succumb to the people who are constantly telling you who they think you should be or how you should look. You be you, and do it to the best of your ability.