We are approaching a whole year of breastfeeding, Monster and I, and although I feel a strong sense of accomplishment I can honestly say that I am going to look forward to the few months off before number two arrives. In particular, bed time breastfeeding and the sneak out that comes after.
I long for the day that I can just read my children a story, shut off the lights and say goodnight, but right now I have to use amazing stealth to slip my nipple out of a tooth-filled mouth, shift off of the loudest bed in the world and sneak out of his room while dodging an obstacle course of toys.
The damn toys. I clean them up before we lay down and somehow I miss one and step on it ever single time. Either this causes an unfathomable amount of exaggerated noise or pain followed by gasping and cursing.
Before I even get to the point where I can leave the room I have to first accomplish the daunting task of leaving his bed and that starts with a masterful nip-slip, but not the kind you’re thinking of.
I have to slowly remove my nipple from a bed of sharp baby teeth. Have I mentioned that Monster is only ten months old and already has EIGHT TEETH! Do you realize how scary it is to even let my nipple in that trap to begin with, let alone how frightening it is to have to pull it back out after he’s passed out.
And he’s not always finished with it even after he’s drifted off.
When I do manage to release myself, slowly remove his hands and feet from on top of me and pull away, I then have to slowly peel myself out his time little toddler bed.
This is the most embarrassing part and my parter always laughs when he gets the pleasure of watching me slowly roll, plant my feet and somehow lift myself off of his noisy bed and place myself on the floor.
While half the time still dogging toys because even though I say I clean them I usually just watch as they are ripped out of their place moments later or forget them entirely.
Then it’s the sneak out, with a few squeaky stairs for a finale and it’s home free! Well for a few minutes until he stirs and starts to cry, in which I run upstairs and get to do it all again.
Believe me when I fantasize about the few months where my breasts will be baby-free and that is hoping that weaning when he is a year is successful. I am going to enjoy it more than anyone knows.
Eventually I will be sad when looking back on our time, but that will be because of his youth and innocence. Breastfeeding will have just given me more time to bask in that and more memories to cherish.
Soon I will be reminded of the task of breastfeeding a newborn and Monster will be just a past dance parter that taught me my first steps. I am thankful for the time with him, but I am going to relish in my upcoming vacation.
I have a feeling though that I will always been sneaking out of his room. At least until he goes to college.
SmASHeD Phoenix 